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Adda Mabalina
About Me


dannixfresh
Age. 32
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Filipino
Location , CA
School. Other
» More info.
Why I don't talk to them anymore
Wednesday. 7.13.22 2:23 pm
From 11-18, there was so much going on at home. At home, I was lonely. My parents would gamble their money away, my parents were unhappy in their marriage and it showed, and my grandma did not even acknowledge my existence, despite living in the same house. For a while, I didn't have a room. I slept in the living room on a bed; my brother and uncle on couches.

Regardless, I was so blessed in my middle and high school years. My safe space was church. Pastor Ben, P.Lin, Bemi, Micah, Diana, and all my other friends at church...it was my safe space. My mom would always be upset that it took up my time. But you know what? I would much have rather been at church than at home. I want to dive deeper into myself, and figure out truly why I stopped talking to them. For Diana, she feels burned because she gave a lot of herself for little acknowledgment. But me? I gave, and I was acknowledged by the church.

The true reason I stopped talking to them is because I do not believe what they believe anymore. I believe in a higher power, but I am not Christian. The true reason I don't speak with them is because I don't want them to keep trying to bring me back to church. Christianity is what kept us close. No longer can I have a relationship with them, because I will know in the back of my mind, they are praying I don't go to hell.

Regardless, I am filled with gratitude for these wonderful people, and the time they were in my life. Sometimes, I just want to send a message out to them, to let them know how grateful I am for their presence in my life. For the light they were for me. Maybe I will one day.
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