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Adda Mabalina
About Me


dannixfresh
Age. 32
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Filipino
Location , CA
School. Other
» More info.
Hello, I am Danni, a compulsive over eater
Saturday. 7.2.22 7:56 pm
I have come to a revelation in therapy. That I have intense childhood trauma that I never really recovered from. I come from a family with generational trauma. My father struggles with gambling addiction and infidelity. My mother is a codependent woman with her own gambling addiction, and self confidence issues.

I have always been the friend or therapist for my mother. Since I was eight years old, I can remember the countless times my mother has shared the issues she has with my dad. She would rant about him not being an adequate husband. But she would always end her rant with "but that's your dad, you should still love him."

My dad as well, never truly had a strong relationship with me, or my siblings. He has always been married to my mom. I truly believe in his mind, putting a roof over our head, food on the table, and keeping us alive was enough. On top of that, I am sure he knows my mom has fed me her own resentment for my father on a big spoon.

So, here I am, in my thirties. Remembering some of my childhood trauma. Seeings how it has shaped me into who I am today. And that is where compulsive eating comes in. Food has been there for me my whole entire life. Food was my medicine when I was sick. It was my joy; it was my love. It was the best way to numb myself from the pain of my childhood. Feeling lonely? Food is the answer. Feeling stressed? Food helps me feel good. Happy? Food is the perfect way to celebrate.

Truth is, food is not going to take my anxiety away. It isn't going to increase my self esteem. It isn't whats going to fix my unhealed wounds. It was the only way I could cope when I was a child, but it isn't anymore. It's time to stop hiding from the real deep rooted issues I have. I have to face them.

I can gladly say that I'm working through all of this through therapy, reading self help books, and going to OA. I am thankful for this new chapter in my life.
1 Comments.


it must be difficult for u to be present for your mother and also for yourself at such young age.

if u want therapy, u can always try to approach those counseling/psychology department if their students are providing pro bono services since practicum students would be scavenging for clients.

hope this helps.
» renaye on 2022-07-09 03:54:29

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